This post makes me nervous
Something very, very good has been happening in my life over the past couple of weeks. Something very, very, very good.
There are two ways to looking at this, really. One, just sit back, shrug those worries off my shoulders, and enjoy every moment of it. Two, examine ot closely, microscopically and look for factors that could cause doubt.
Oh I know what your reactions are going to be. So far, I have only been following option one. But there's more to this situation than a mere superficial glance. There have, I admit, been several areas of doubt. Several instances of my being at an unfair disadvantage where knowledge/information is concerned.
Where I had hitherto shut my eyes to this fact, the seeds of doubt were brought to my notice. My intuition tells me to continue to enjoy, but my logic is playing havoc with my heart. The more I think about it, the worse it gets.
I have made some enemies in my life. Not intentionally (in fact, 'twas quite the contrary, but that's another story) I do not know whether the extent of this enemity will allow for people to quite mess with me like this. My reasoning is that even if they have been taking me for a ride (my enemies, that is), after two weeks of my falling for it, and being perfectly nice about the whole thing, their consciences should prick them enough to want to disclose it, right?
Oh lordie, I sure hope I've been right about this one. If it holds a positive outcome, it can be quite the upward swing I've been waiting for all my life. Because it is so damn right. I mean, nothing can be quite so bad if it feels so right, no?
But if I'm wrong, then oh hell... I'm just bloody done for. Again.
posted by La Eposa @ 11:07 PM
