Crossing fingers, toes, eyes, arms, legs and everything else
I am sitting on the ceiling and observing myself tail-spinning my own life out of control. I am seeing things go wrong, and I am seeing things go way out of control. Worst of all, I am seeing myself responsible for most of it. I have no one to blame for it but myself.
I am setting up a pattern of bum-f***ing myself so badly, I can’t sit. And I have no idea how to break this stupid, bloody, vicious cycle.
I need to get a grip on some things in my life, and I’m hoping that this evening and this weekend allow me that liberty. I have shit to sort out – while I know that it’s definitely going to bury me under, I’m hoping I will get an opportunity to resurface and inhale as well.
I tremble with nervous trepidation about the weeks to come, and especially quake in anticipation of the next few days. It’s going to be tough, it’s going to be grueling, and it’s going to test me. Test my patience, my ego, my resilience, my capabilities, my professionalism, my gut, my grit, my strength. There’s a lot of my pride I’m going to have to swallow, and I don’t even like the thought of that.
*shudder* I’m not looking forward to it.
posted by La Eposa @ 6:37 PM
