There we go again...
A friend of mine has just acquired herself a(nother) plaything. Or made herself available as a plaything again.
This girl (we'll call her J) is successful, she's smart, she's bloody drop-dead gorgeous, she's one of the most intelligent people I know, and she can get any man she wants with the snap of her finger.
Unfortunately for her, her life has been a long series of short-term relationships with the wrong men, and now she simply doesn't know how to either choose, or how to sustain her relationships. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and is constantly falling in and out of relationships. I mean, she's had four men in seven months!
This latest, fifth person that she has just acquired herself, is (from my reading) her perfect man. He's extremely hot, very polished, very suave, very charming, he constantly has many nice things to say and he loves to take care of people, so he gives her a lot of attention. Which is good for her, I know. How do I know so much about this guy? Well, I know him too. The only catch is this: he doesn't want commitment. So they spend tons of time together, she has practically moved into his house, and they bonk like bunnies. But they call themselves "good friends".
Now… I know J, and I know her longing for a committed relationship. And I simply don't understand why she compromises herself and her desires, to get into situations like this. It angers me, it hurts me for her, and it bloody frustrates me!! Now what will happen is that she will enjoy this for a while. Suddenly, when Tarzan begins to talk about his ex-girlfriend (who he still carries a flame for), she will be all upset and hurt that he doesn't consider her his girlfriend, although they've slept together and spent so much time together etc. And then she'll withdraw, begin to ignore him, and either abruptly bring "them" to a close, or slowly cut him out. And lose herself another damn fine friend.
How on earth does one make her realise the rut she's put herself into? I've seen this happen time and again, and I just know the cycle like the back of my hand. Three weeks of moping, and then she'll go ga-ga over some other loser who makes her feel good about herself. Till then, of course, she'll nearly eat her insides out with guilt.
Sigh. I wish I could shake her till her bones rattle, and hard-knock some sense into her. Stupid, stupid girl. Unfortunately, all I can do is helplessly watch, as she puts herself through this time and again, and just be there for her when she needs me. I only hope this guy doesn't cause too much emotional wear and tear...
Dammit! Why can't she see what the world sees about her? Why is it so difficult for people to learn to love themselves? And why on earth does it have to be so easy to compromise on something, and so tough to get out of it?
Hah. Famous words from me. Yes, I'll shut up now.
posted by La Eposa @ 5:46 PM
