Back in bizniss
Full of beans and resolutions I am today. I slept less than half a wink last night - stayed up coughing all night and all that. Yes, I've taken a bit ill, seeing as I was exposed for five days to EXTREMELY cold weather, and hailing from a city where cold is as foreign as Timbuktoo.
Most importantly though, I have bounced back. Heh heh, not owing to my adipose this time. For some strange reason, I had a niggling nag going on inside my head. Lately, I've been disgruntled with pretty much every aspect of my life - professional, personal, physical, blah blah blah. And last night was the peak of disgruntlement. I was completely mind-fucked, and I had NO idea what to do, or how to go about it.
And for the first time in many, many months, I broke down. I didn't weep melodramatically, or sob heavingly, but I did shed a few tears. Tears more of anger and frustration and helplessness. Tears for what has been, what is and what could have been. Tears for what isn't.
Did I mention that yesterday was also the death anniversary of the man that I loved most in my life? No? Oh... it must've skipped my mind.
So two cigarettes, a glass of apple juice, some jazz and lounge, one phone call and a half hour later, my shoulders were lighter, the beginnings of a smile were creeping back.
Today I'm back in bizniss. I know I can handle whatever is thrown my way, and believe you me, there's a lot being chucked right now. But what the hell... I've got two large arms!!
posted by La Eposa @ 10:56 AM
