The Bad and the Good
Yesterday, over the course of a conversation with a friend, I was lambasted for being thick and obtuse enough to think that another close friend’s insensitivity probably had something to do with his/her present situation.
This is not the first time it is happening to me, but it is the first time with this friend. My past though, is filled with instances of my feeling let down (or sometimes just plain stupid) for having put myself out over and over again, only to be dropped like a hot potato once I’m done being useful. A couple of my “closest” friends have left me feeling this way, and the actually close ones later ripped me apart for doing this to myself.
I don’t need people to say nice things. I don’t need them to buy me many things. Just once in a while, paying a little attention to the things that matter to me will help.
I should pay more heed to myself, and stop making excuses for other people. Because really, someone else’s extreme insensitivity should not be making me feel guilty – just upset. And I know now that being upset with a friend does not diminish your love for them in any way. And it hopefully won't be misconstrued either.
On an entirely different note though, the Lambasting Friend has a surprisingly tender and possessive streak towards me. He declared that after this particular incident, no matter how close I am or how ironed out differences will be, he will forever be prejudiced against my Upsetting Friend. For the sheer fact that I was upset.
And that nearly makes up for everything.
posted by La Eposa @ 5:59 PM
