Times have changed and times are strange...
I think at some point in my recent past, I discovered I’m not happy. I’m not successful in my mind. And I’m discontent.
If you knew me, you will know that those are the three things I would most detest possessing. And somehow, sometime, it has stealthily crept up on me.
The self-esteem, the motivation, the enthusiasm, the zest for life have all been at their lowest the past few weeks, and it has not been a very pretty time. So I resorted to what I do best – stock taking. Of me, my life, where I want to be, what I want to do, how I want to do it, why I want to do it, when I want to do it.
I admit I didn’t get too many answers, but I sure as hell got a million questions. Questions that I will now begin to seek answers to, and problems that I will now find solutions to.
There are definitely going to be several changes in my life over the next few weeks. Some of them may be pretty, some may not, but all of them will, I know, be for the best. In and through all the decisions, one texting session with my mother gave me the confidence that I so badly needed:
Reveur: What if the world thinks I’m a loser? Then what? Lotsa.
Mom: Do you think you’re a loser? If not, the world prob won’t either. Whos the “world” anyway? Lotsa.
Mom: Ps personally I think you’re doing fine because at least you have the courage to make the nec changes to make your life happier. Pps others be damned its you who is IMPT. Lotsa and lotsa.
Reveur: Wow. Your last two texts really hit home. The first becos yes, maybe I think I am, but maybe I should stop. The second one just becos. I think it’s the first gyan I’ve appreciated. You rock. Lotsa lotsa and lotsa.
Don’t mother’s absolutely rock? I know mine does.
posted by La Eposa @ 11:21 AM
