Falling Into Place
The past month has been the headiest, most action-packed time of my life. My life has been heaving me higher than a raft on a choppy sea, and suddenly, nothing is as it used to be.
I think I’ve grown up. I’m a big girl, and I’m embarking on big, scary things… none of which scare me the slightest any more. I suddenly am laughing heartily at myself, and kicking myself hard for being foolish enough to be so scared all this while.
Because sometimes, you do just what’s right for you with no hesitation whatsoever. With no regard (at last!) for what the world may say, because only you know what’s good for you, and you finally know who you are. And then you think it’s so out of character, but it actually is totally in character.
And so, life is going to drastically change. For the better or for the worse, only time will tell. But I will say this much – I’m happier than I have ever been in my entire life.
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Wedding stories apart…
So I landed in Bangalore, and got so caught up with the enthusiasm of organizing a wedding. We were rushing from location to location like whirling dervishes, with no time to be still, no time to breathe and certainly no time to waste.
So when he called and asked me for a favour, I was eager to help (because it was him), but I really didn’t see myself doing it till after the wedding mania. Please, he said, I need that CD desperately – I need that creative for a client. Would you definitely pick it up for me on Saturday, then?
So I said yes, and continued with just a little extra zing at having heard his voice, and very, very pleased that I could actually do something for him.
The day after the wedding, his colleague promptly called, and we arranged to meet at one of the clubs. (Aside: This colleague is a seven-footer… his legs are my height!) And so we ordered coffee, generally chit-chatting, and talking about the non-essentials, till I mentioned the creative. He nearly spat his drink out. “Creative?? Oh hell yea, it’s creative.” He sputtered, pushed his chair back, and strode to his car, as I struggled to keep up with this gigantic laughing man. And he threw open the back door.
Twenty three long-stemmed red roses, interspersed with baby’s breath, held together with cellophane paper, and bound with red satin. “Because you’re a sweetheart”, the card read.
I don’t think I’ve still managed to regain my breath. And yes, he is very, very, very hot.
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Holiday
We’ve been planning our weddings since we were sixteen, and I can’t believe one is finally happening. Staying three hundred kilometres away, we’ve still managed to shop for clothes, lingerie, make up and gifts, and plan D-day together. We’ve held hands and cried, we’ve hugged and laughed, we’ve jumped around like monkeys.
And now its time for five days of unadulterated fun. There is no feeling more thrilling than watching as your best friend gets married. To the best guy you could have even dreamed of, for her. (Yes, even after all those years of laughing about how as she flees from her wedding, I will be waiting with her sneakers by the door)
So we will pretty our hands with henna, and giggle as the henna lady hides his really long name in the intricate patterns she creates. We will dress and hoot as we see how the lingerie finally looks on her. We will smile secret smiles though the whole ceremony, and collect information for gossip later.
For my part, I will watch with pride and mixed emotions, as she commits to her forever man. I will be mother, sister, best-friend, enemy all rolled into one. And for three days, I will forget my family, as I move in with hers. (But then, we’re like just one family anyway, so it doesn’t really matter)
Scandal: I’m going to stay the first night with them. Ha ha ha. They’re moving in with family the first coupla days, and can’t do much hanky-panky anyway (not that it will be counted as hanky-panky any more, given they’ll be wedded). So rather than mingle with only the old foggies, I’ve been invited to stay over as well. The three of us are going to count all the money they received as gifts – I’m sure there’ll be tons! And then, she, her brand new husband and I will go out drinking to celebrate.
So see you all next week, then.
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Times have changed and times are strange...
I think at some point in my recent past, I discovered I’m not happy. I’m not successful in my mind. And I’m discontent.
If you knew me, you will know that those are the three things I would most detest possessing. And somehow, sometime, it has stealthily crept up on me.
The self-esteem, the motivation, the enthusiasm, the zest for life have all been at their lowest the past few weeks, and it has not been a very pretty time. So I resorted to what I do best – stock taking. Of me, my life, where I want to be, what I want to do, how I want to do it, why I want to do it, when I want to do it.
I admit I didn’t get too many answers, but I sure as hell got a million questions. Questions that I will now begin to seek answers to, and problems that I will now find solutions to.
There are definitely going to be several changes in my life over the next few weeks. Some of them may be pretty, some may not, but all of them will, I know, be for the best. In and through all the decisions, one texting session with my mother gave me the confidence that I so badly needed:
Reveur: What if the world thinks I’m a loser? Then what? Lotsa.
Mom: Do you think you’re a loser? If not, the world prob won’t either. Whos the “world” anyway? Lotsa.
Mom: Ps personally I think you’re doing fine because at least you have the courage to make the nec changes to make your life happier. Pps others be damned its you who is IMPT. Lotsa and lotsa.
Reveur: Wow. Your last two texts really hit home. The first becos yes, maybe I think I am, but maybe I should stop. The second one just becos. I think it’s the first gyan I’ve appreciated. You rock. Lotsa lotsa and lotsa.
Don’t mother’s absolutely rock? I know mine does.
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Have Mercy
The office building I work in is fairly new, and so new amenities are constantly being added to it. Part of my role involves a daily tour of the premises, to check that everything is in line with company branding policies, etc.
Today, on my rounds, I discovered that our Admin team had put up two new paintings in the visitor lounge on the third floor. Both paintings are striking and colourful, and on first glance, look nearly identical. But they’re not…
Imagine a huge strawberry, with eyes painted where the “nodes” of the strawberry should be. These eyes are all open in one painting, and half closed on the other.
The former is titled Passion Fruit; and the latter, Compassion Fruit.
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Tribute to Curls and Dimples
Happy Birthday, Forever Man.
The bestest day, and the bestest year ever to you.
I hate that I was not able to spend today with you.
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Tagged!
I was tagged a few days ago by Shilpa over at Ad astra per aspera. And so here goes…
Films I own :
My Best Friend’s Wedding
Finding Nemo
My Fair Lady
The Sound of Music
The Thomas Crown Affair
Mona Lisa Smile
Pretty Woman
The Godfather
Kill Bill : Volumes I & II
The Wedding Planner
Terminator II : Judgement Day
The Fast & The Furious
Seabiscuit
Bridge on the River Kwai
Ocean’s Eleven
Ace ventura : Pet detective
Ace Ventura : When Nature Calls
Sideways
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Dil Chahta Hai
A couple of Indiana Jones
Other stuff I own, that aren’t really movies:
The Friends Series
Some discs of Tom & Jerry
A couple of discs of Fawlty Towers
Last Film I bought :
My Best Friend’s Wedding
Five films that I watch a lot or mean something to me:
My Fair Lady
Nobody can EVER make another film like this one. The elegance oozes out of every dot, the acting, the dialogues, the music… everything is simply outstandingly impeccable.
Beginning age 9, through school, I would watch this film compulsarily on the first night of every term holidays, and now I watch it at least once a year. I will never tire of it.
The Sound of Music
Another all-time classic, another deep influencer of my childhood.
Ace Ventura : Both
Nobody can make me laugh the way Jim Carrey can. When I need a pick-me-up, this is where I go.
Kill Bill : Both volumes
Have you ever seen such brilliance ever? This man is GOD (and so is that woman)
Friends
Doesn’t count as a movie, but I love them. I may have watched each episode a million times over, but I love the six of them, and can continue to be enthralled.
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I’m supposed to tag five other people, but I think most people have been tagged already! So I’m going to end the lineage here, because I’m sure it shall be propogated via another source anyway :)
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The Red Carpet
I just finished reading The Red Carpet, by Lavanya Sankaran.
All short stories in the book are set in Bangalore, and centre around the lives of “ordinary people”. The book itself has received rave reviews, and Lavanya is being touted as the next big author from India.
What did I think of it? Well, I’ll be honest – the author is my aunt. So I picked up the book with an immense sense of pride and familial glee.
But on a more unbiased note, here’s what I think. The spirit of Bangalore has been captured really well. It might seem boring and mundane and overdone to a typical Bangalorean, seeing as they will find nothing new in the content. But to the eyes and imagination of a stranger to Bangalore, she paints a nice, vivid picture. Her characters are very normal, yes, and her situations are very normal too, and that is commendable. It is so difficult to take routine life, and convert it into something other people will be interested in.
However, what I liked best about The Red Carpet, was Lavanya’s writing style. She has an easy, unpretentious flow to the stories, with a pleasing choice of words, and conservative use of flamboyance. Even if she does lack a little bit in originality of content, there’s a natural grace in her language. So if you enjoy words and their patterns, this will certainly charm you.
Lavanya’s contract with the publishers was apparently a two-book deal, so she’s currently working on her next book, a novel. As a family member, I can’t wait for it to hit the stands. As a member of general junta though, I’m only just curious.
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AWOL
Sorry for the long silences. There has been just way too much happening here, and I have scarcely had time to breathe, let alone blog. I realize that I have been recalcitrant, but I will try not to let that happen again.
Truth be told, I was also toying with the idea of completely shutting this place down. That would’ve been the fourth blog I deleted (yea… I’ve been around in many online avatars, for quite a while!) and it would have been for the same reasons as earlier. But there also was a part of me that did not want to shut shop, just because. So I have been writing off and on, but simply not posting.
And then of course, there was the Grand Illness. Two Saturdays ago, I began to feel a bit feverish, and by the time night fell, I had a 101 degree temperature. The next day, my throat began to hurt, and my fever went up to 103. I slept and slept, barely able to lift even a little finger.
We assumed it was only a viral fever, and so only fed me paracetemol… but when the fever shot up to 104 on Monday evening, and stayed that way through Tuesday, I decided to see a doc. Oh… I wasn’t able to do anything about it earlier, because I didn’t have leave at work – yea… I worked through the pounding head, throbbing eyes and aching body.
Anway, so the doc said I had Follicular Tonsilitis, a resultant nasal block, and several other big words that I couldn’t comprehend through the fever. He said it would’ve been interesting to mark the progress of my fever, because “it would’ve touched remarkable heights”, and he nearly dropped his glasses when he heard that I had managed to work through a 104 degree fever.
Whatever. In the state I was in, I was hardly interested in news about setting and breaking records. So he put me on supremely high medication – I have been on over 1500 mg of antibiotics for over ten days… till this morning.
That last week was awful. My stomach growled but I couldn’t eat because swallowing hurt. I would literally weep in pain at every meal. And talking, resting, sleeping, swallowing, even just being hurt. I discovered what excruciating pain was, and it was not pleasant.
But I’m much better now, and am back to work after two days off last week. The throat still hurts, the body still aches, and the eyes still throb. But I feel a little healthier, and certainly a lot thinner. So I guess the silver lining really does exist!!
And yes, I’m back to blogging as well, seeing as I’m to the full-time-internet environment. So be prepared for a deluge of posts, and boring stuff that I wrote over the past few days. Stories include : The Red Carpet, Moving Tales, Work Pressures, Hot Men, and yea… the Tag Quiz from Ad astra per aspera.
So see y’all later!
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Moving on
So it’s final then. I’m moving out. I’m winding up my home.
A year’s worth of furniture, appliances, cutlery, knick-knacks, and collectibles will now be relegated to big boxes of memories. Inferences of experiments – of the kitchen, heart, soul and entertainment variety – will only remain in smiles, chuckles, and waves of nostalgia. Irritations and responsibilities will only be sorely missed.
The best thing about the move is that my apartment will be taken over by a very, very close friend. A partner in crime with whom I have shared many happy moments – over movies, meals and liquor. A close friend who has promised to let ME do up the house again, so I can do all the things I planned to but never had a chance to.
What this house has given me is independence, confidence, privacy. What it has done to me cannot be measured in words. And I don’t want to give it up. But I know I have to, which is the worst part. I have to move on, to greener pastures, to bigger responsibilities, and to greater maturity.
I am thoroughly pleased that things have worked out the way they have, mostly because I will get to do all the things I always wanted to but didn’t have the resources for.
Wistful. That’s what I am, mostly.
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